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[30 Mar 2008|10:51pm]
Now lost 61lbs total, and loving life.
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[06 Jan 2008|10:28pm]
wow, it's been almost a year since I've written in this journal.

I've been to school now for a semester, and to my knowledge passed all of my courses, doing quite well.

I've lost 46lbs through improved eating and exercise habits and a little site called sparkpeople.com.

I'm still dating Dave, we've been going out now for a year and a half.

Starting my second semester of school tomorrow. Yay!
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today at the lord elgin [14 Apr 2007|11:39pm]
She looked normal. By that, I mean, her appearances were normal - she appeared normal. Tall, thin, grey short hair, probably late forties, good shape, well-bred, well-mannered, typical businesswoman. But damn, was she loud. Cheerleader loud.

"Look at your hair!" And the word "hair" was long drawn out and her pitch went up at the end. "Mary-Ann I'm so glad you're here!", accompanied with little jumps up and down and a clasping of the hands. "We are going to have so much fun!" More little jumps. It was like she lived her life in exclamation points. She was just meeting fellow business people for goodness sakes.

I hated her because of it. I wondered if she knew how foolish it was, how foolish I thought she was, for putting exclamation points on the end of everything in life. Come on lady, get over it. Faker.

But the people she jumped for and clasped her hands for and made big wide smiles for... they responded back in a likewise manner - as likewise as an actual normal person can under those circumstances. And then I thought, maybe she's got a license for it - she's not keeping the exclamation points, she's passing them on.
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The Pharmacist's Mate [13 Apr 2007|11:43am]
And did I say this already? That music is the best theater? That it's so ridiculous it doesn't even make any sense? That there should be these people onstage, standing there, wiggling little strings on blocks of wood slung around their necks? Jumping up and down and wiggling the strings? Jumping up and down and hopping back and forth and dancing on tippy-toes, wiggling strings? And how if you were deaf, and just saw them doing that, you would think, what the hell? What is that? And if you were never on earth before and someone had to explain it to you they would have to say there's this thing called music, and it's invisible. And it floats around in the air and it fills up whole rooms, and more than rooms, whole homes, whole football fields, whole stadiums. And we know it is there, because we can hear it through these little holes on either sides of our heads. And if we turn it up really loud we can feel it, we can feel it in our bodies, vibrating. But we can't see it. The only thing we can see is people jumping and wiggling.

And that's the thing right there, that makes me believe in everything that makes no sense. When Angus Young plays the opening chords to "Hell's Bells," we know that something is here in the Garden that wasn't here before, something huge and inexplicable, and it is not the giant, papier-mache bell that drops from the ceiling. It is a prescense, and even though it seems to be associated with Angus Young, it is not Angus Young.

And it is like a joke, almost, that we only have Angus Young to look at, Angus Young who is forty-five now, for god's sake, in his schoolboy outfit and his wedding ring, when we hear this gargantuan thing arriving, this giant presence, this god. It is a joke that we can't see it, that we see only this shadow, this Angus Young gidgeting in his red velvet shorts, when we know as sure as we are standing here that a freaking kind has come.

-The Pharmacist's Mate,
by Amy Fusselman
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when do i miss the mountains? [22 Mar 2007|03:25am]
in the mountains, i felt like something was unrolled inside of me:

a big carpet was rolled out widely, making me feel both wider but more empty. more able to take in things around me - but there was less available to take in:

no flashing lights, no ads overhead. we see on average 500 ads a day. what if that were cut down to maybe 30 a day, and wilderness placed there instead? what do you think that would do to you?:

it would scare you a bit. maybe it would feel like a big tight carpet, unrolled for the first time in you:

maybe you could walk around on that carpet, feel it under your toes for the first time. maybe you could even dance a little.:

the carpets rolled back up now. it's nice this way, nice and comforting in this big roll like a baby's comforted by being swaddled tightly. but sometimes my mind wanders back to dancing on the carpet. that's when i miss the mountains.
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Today I was accepted into the University of Ottawa!! [31 Jan 2007|12:20am]
God is bigger than me, and he knows so much more than me what is best for me!!

As my bf Dave pointed out, if I had been accepted into school last September I, a) would not be volunteering with Citizen Advocacy and b) would not have an awesome job at the Lord Elgin hotel, i would be happy doing data entry!!!

I'm not worthy!! I'm not worthy!!! lol but seriously!!!

I called Ottawa U today because I was feeling anxious about my application. This time I apparently spoke with the right person. She told me that last year I had been denied not because merely of too many applicants, but because my grades weren't good enough. NO ONE had told me this before today, and I had been hedging my whole 2 last years on getting into Ottawa U!! Apparently in 2005 when I was accepted the percentage needed to get into Communications was 72%. In 2006, it raised to 80%, because it was a popular course, etc. My grades at the University of Guelph-Humber average 80.5%, but when they translate them into their own grades, I only had 78.5%. So I didn't have a good enough grade to get in. She then gave me options on getting into General Arts classes, thereby breaking my heart. I was trying to hold back crying, because my WHOLE LIFE has hedged around getting into finish my Comm. degree. I was feeling lost and without hope, she said she would see what she could do.

I have no idea what she did, but five minutes later she called me back to say that they had lowered the average needed to get into Communications for this upcoming September, and that I WAS ADMITTED. That's right, she gave me acceptance, just like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So baby, I'm in!

lovin' life!!
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[14 Jan 2007|01:36pm]
pet peeve

people who complain that the weather was nice here while they were in florida, then when they get back it snows.

1 who cares
2 you were still in florida
3 stop being selfish
4 who cares
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[10 Jan 2007|04:40pm]
There's some things in which the difference between good and bad is as wide as the ocean.

Take cheese, for example. Or even bread. Especially wine. Add 56k versus T1 connections to that list too, as well as friends, lovers, and concerts.

Yeah, I think that's about it.
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[15 Dec 2006|02:30pm]
I gave David Suzuki props last night. You know, "props". Love working at a hotel!
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something wonderful happened. [08 Dec 2006|12:17pm]
I went to an Ottawa U information session on Wednesday. One of the speakers was the Manager of the Office of Admissions,

(the woman who signed my letter of rejection to Ottawa U)

Michele Dextras.

After the info session was over I went up and talked with her. I was able to hear her tell me that they had had an unusually large number of applicants this last September and that they had to turn away good students. I was able to hear her face to face tell me that my grades are good enough to get in. She stilled fears in me. And most of all,

she gave me her card, told me to apply, and said that she would track my application.

Thank the Lord!!!
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take a ride down to georgia [05 Dec 2006|01:49am]
most awesome customer today.

a guy from Georgia.

I asked him where he was from, I saw his state said "GA" but I didn't know which one it was...

he drawled, "Gee-orgia"

I asked him how they decided on which letters to assign to states, and he said it was the first and last letter, and I said, what about Texas? And he said, "well, they had to use the X, the X is cool!"

Now, a lot of people might say "The X is cool." But when the man in front of you is and old black man who you can picture playing a saxophone or an old guitar and singing the blues, and when he says "cool" he means it in the old, cool cat way.... I was impressed.

"Thar's no rhyme nor reason to the namin of the states then ah guess. You eva been to Geurgia?"

No, sir.

"Take a ride down. Take a ride down to Geurgia. I'll feed ya some grits. Lovely Geurgia, take a ride down, you'll like it."

I'm so impressed, I'm going to visit George someday.
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Off The Grid [20 Nov 2006|01:15am]
Saw the newest Warren Miller film last night at the National Arts Centre!!! Saw a skiier drop off a 250 foot cliff face, (for fun). Saw skiiers and snowboarders dropped out of helicopters and onto mountains in Alaska, India, Montana, etc, and driven up mountains by snowmobiles and snowcats. Crazy flips, kicks shits and giggles, and a Japanese snowball fight complete with team uniforms.

Favourite quote from "Off The Grid", and favourite Warren Miller quote?

"Remember, if you don't do it this year, you'll be one year older when you do."
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[13 Nov 2006|02:03am]
Just finished a Remembrance Day tour. Did a job well done, gained the teachers trust, and the students liked me, got a tip at the end of it anyway and a few yelled out, "You're cool! We love you! Thank you"'s which was nice.

We went to the National Aviation Museum, Rideau Hall, the Laurier House, the National Art Gallery, the Museum of Civilization, the Diefenbunker, the Parliament buildings, the Remembrance Day Ceremony were I got to see Prime Minister Stephen Harper for the first time irl... good times!

I'm finally making some pretty sweet money with my Lord Elgin posish... my paycheque this week was $777... a big bit up from the $570 I would get at data entry. And after three months my wage is bumped up another buck! Woot!

Life is good. Good Good Good!!!!!!! My bf is the best too :) :):):)
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[09 Nov 2006|11:38am]
"Nothing really matters" is a lie.
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[25 Oct 2006|07:17pm]
Sat Oct 24th, the night of.

I threw a surprise birthday party for Dave. Despite a few near-glitches, everything went off without any problems. He had NO idea. The look of surprise and shock on his face is one that I hope I never forget! He thought he was being robbed, he heard and sort of saw someone run across the room so his adrenaline started pumping... then we threw on the light and yelled Surprise!!! His jaw dropped, and he could just say, "What is this?! What are you guys doing here?" We had decorations, and two cakes, and drinks, and smokes! It was a great night of party, we had 15 people plus dave and I. Packed party central! Dave got hives the next day though, something at the party made him allergic, or he was bitten by something.. for a week after he had hives on and off! Eek! :( But it was worth it for the party I think and I think he thinks!!!!

Today is Dave and mine four month anniv. I just keep liking him more and more. In two days it's my birthday! He's taking me out tonight. :)

Sorry this is boring and cheesy it's more for personal records so I can look back and remember. :) I'll write something soon.
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[17 Oct 2006|02:19pm]
All that we call human history - money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery - [is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy. -C.S. Lewis
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[03 Oct 2006|11:42pm]
Fine, I'll admit it. I'll admit it, because it's not a problem.

I'm addicted to facebook.

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[30 Sep 2006|12:17am]
Nothing ever goes as planned. Life is a bit messed, in that way.

Friends I knew in public school (little girls in pink bows and pink dresses who were sure they knew the boy they were going to marry - their best friend, and of course they'll have a house with two kids and two cars and two cats when they are twenty-two) that I thought had it together...


'cause life knocks. And knocks hard.

The girl gets fat.
The boy goes away to school.
The girl stays with her parents.
The boy has a mental breakdown.
Girl goes to school, gets a minimum paying job.

Now the boy is going through University class by class because it's all he can handle (mentally, not financially, financially his parents pay for everything), and the girl is living in an income geared housing project in her hometown working part time. They don't really talk much to each other anymore.

No judging.

But, wow.

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[09 Sep 2006|12:36am]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Cape Breton.

More to come. When I have time I'll post 'em.

I'm going to Germany.
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[25 Aug 2006|09:18pm]
Tonight at 10pm I leave for Cape Breton with a couple cars full of friends.

Estimated time of arrival? 6pm the next day.

Hello, road trip.
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